You Can Never Write Fast Enough...

My newest writing gig, (in my humble, auto-centric opinion) might be one of the coolest opportunities I've ever had -- Garage Magazine. The eternally bitchin' hot rod mag asked me to pen a column that combines two of my favorite things -- cars and movies -- so there was no way in hell I could say no. I struggled with just what to cover in my debut column -- my head spinning like my Torino doing cookies in the desert. And yet, the same movie continued to surface -- Two-Lane Blacktop. It was so obvious, too obvious, I wondered, but on final ponder, I put my brain in park and told myself: It's my favorite car movie, I've written about it numerous times, and I love it enough to expand, explicate and worship further. Why not christen my column with the best of the best?

An added bonus was my magazine photo session with the incredibly talented artist/badass LA photographer Estevan Oriol. He's snapped everyone from Ice Cube to Forest Whitaker to Dennis Hopper to Rob Zombie and more and created some gritty, gorgeous work concerning street life as well. I was in more than able hands (also, he loved my car, so naturally he's one of my favorite people). The issue is on newsstands now, so make sure to pick it up. Dita Von Teese graces the cover and centerfold, while other stories include a look at the great Hollywood/cheesecake photographer Bernard of Hollywood, a prison interview with famed skater Jay Adams and a look at DC based punk rock motorcycle couriers from the 1980's. You will not be disappointed. And stay tuned for my next Garage column which will cover famous cinematic mental breakdown car moments. (If you scroll down to my Bette Davis homage, you'll see one of the greatest).

So with that, I've dipped into my archives to feature again, my favorite car movies -- something that wouldn't have fit in the magazine and something Garage readers can enjoy, disagree or challenge me over (as long as those challenges don't involve a chicken race). On second thought...

Anyway, here's my look at the 10 greatest examples of car cinema (not entirely in order, not the greatest cars, or greatest car chase sequences, though many of these pictures feature both), proving that autos can make not only a genre, but compelling characters as well. For these films, it's not star but car power. The Torino is calling...

10. Dirty Mary Crazy Larry (1974)

OK, so the film itself leaves something to be desired in the deep-meaning department. And the director dips into the cheap-thrills cookie jar one too many times. But Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry is lots of messy fun -- especially when involving automobiles. Peter Fonda is (crazy) Larry, a would-be NASCAR driver who, with his mechanic Deke (Adam Roarke), pulls off a heist and runs for a new country. But they also take Mary (Susan George), a nutjob wild child (who's really the "crazy" one here, anyway?), who makes the getaway a little more, well, interesting. Filled with all kinds of terrific chase sequences starring lust-worthy hotrod "characters" such as a Dodge Charger, a Chevrolet Impala and a Dodge Polara. This one's muscle-ri-fic.

9. Duel (1971)

Before he struck fear in the heart of every beach-loving, ocean-swimming New Englander, Steven Spielberg crafted one of his supreme films with Duel, a movie that struck fear in the heart of every traveling salesman just trying to get down a California highway. Dennis Weaver is the nebbish, Joe-Blow salesman whose life becomes a vehicular nightmare when a mysterious, ominous truck will not stop following him. But why? Well, we assume the truck wants to kill him (or just completely mess with his head) in some kind of sanity test the poor schlub did not need that morning. Or maybe the truck really hates his car -- a Plymouth Valiant. Whatever the case, the deranged semi vs. Plymouth makes for a superbly tense 90-minute chase film that's a lot more disturbing and so-called "bad to the bone" than Christine.

8. Vanishing Point (1971)

Can you get from Denver to San Francisco in one night? Check out Vanishing Point, in which Barry Newman's mysterious speedster, Kowalski attempts just that. Hired to deliver the white Dodge 440 1970 Challenger in less than 15 hours, he's in the exceptional predicament of being pursued by cops, while a blind DJ named "Super Soul" (Cleavon Little) helps him along his way. Informing the driver of his progress via radio show, Super Soul also makes Kowalski something of a folk hero ("the last American to whom speed means freedom of the soul"). Taut, enigmatic and chock full of pursuits (a memorable one involves a Jaguar), the film skids and scoots and speeds to a kind of infinity. Who really wants to get out of their car?

7. Gone in 60 Seconds (1974)

You gotta love a movie in which the car is such a major character, she's given a name ("Eleanor"). You also gotta love a movie in which the writer, director and stunt driver also stars (H.B. Halicki), mostly because he's such a die-hard gear-head that he surely couldn't imagine anyone else leading the proceedings. Car thieves must steal 48 cars in a short period of time, including a 1973 Mustang Mach 1 code-named Eleanor. When Halicki (as the amusingly named Maindrian Pace) gets his hands on Eleanor, the film kicks into epic high gear, with a 40-minute chase scene that passes through five California cities and leaves nearly 100 cars totaled. The movie was re-made (badly) in 2000, proving you don't need big stars (Nicolas Cage and Angelina Jolie) or extra extreme effects when you already had the real deal in the first place. And Halicki was the real deal; he died in a stunt accident while making this film's sequel

6. The Driver (1978) 

Walter Hill proved that he knew his way around a car by writing the screenplay for Sam Peckinpah's supreme The Getaway (another great car movie) and directing the auto-centric The Driver. An unyielding, enigmatic thriller, the film stars Ryan O'Neal, known simply as The Driver, a man constantly chased by, yep, The Detective (a fantastically creepy Bruce Dern) in a seemingly endless game of cat and mouse. The entire film involves obsessed pursuit; the viewer's point of view is often inside the car as the Driver maneuvers without any discernible emotion. O'Neal is almost literally a driving machine, as he shifts, swerves and speeds his Trans Am through parking structures, alleys and oncoming traffic. This is no giggling Smokey and the Bandit; this is Le Samourai on high octane.

5. Le Mans (1971)

Le Mans is about exactly that: the famed French auto race that runs for 24 hours. And not much else. In true car-noir fashion, it takes a good half-hour before we hear the film's protagonist utter a line of dialogue. That protagonist, Delaney, is played by Steve McQueen in a film so stripped of plot that it often feels like a documentary. We simply watch the auto race on the world's hardest endurance course as our hero goes more than 24 hours on 14.5 kilometers of cordoned country road. There's a duel between Delaney, in his Gulf Team Porsche 917, and a Ferrari 512LM that tests not only the driver's technical abilities, but also his personal will. Filled with terrific racing sequences galore and impressive wrecks, the spectacle is thrilling even if the narrative, not so much. But who cares...

4. Bullitt (1968)

What -- you thought I'd get through this list with only one McQueen film? Not likely, especially since this film is so firmly implanted in car cinema, it's tough not to combine the car and driver as one super being. Bullitt, Peter Yates' too-cool-for-school-actioner, boasts the greatest cinematic drive through the streets of San Francisco. But there's more than that legendary pursuit. There's the car -- a sweet 1968 Mustang GT 390 (the best-looking Mustang ever) -- and the driver -- McQueen (the best-looking guy ever to drive a Mustang). McQueen, who helped re-vamp the bitchin' green Ford, is the James Dean of car culture, indelibly linked with the lure and lore of the automobile. Bullitt actually makes me think Mustangs are not the most obvious "muscle" car you can own. Still (sorry Steve), the villain's car, the 1968 Dodge Charger was much, much cooler.

3. Smokey and the Bandit (1977) 

Many remember 1977 as the year Star Wars became a national obsession. But while some of you played with plastic light sabers and (now priceless) action figures, there were others who busted out their Dad's CB radio ("Sheriff ... do the letters F.O. mean anything to you?") and prayed he'd buy a black 1977 Pontiac Trans AM just like the one Burt Reynolds (a.k.a., The Bandit) drives in Hal Needham's classic Smokey and the Bandit. And yes, I did just say classic. A charming, laughing Reynolds teams with trucker pal Jerry Reed to transport 400 cases of Coors beer across state lines, with an apoplectic, hilarious Jackie Gleason (as Sheriff Buford T. Justice) in pursuit. Loads of light fun filled with clever, excellently edited and just plain stellar car-chase sequences, Smokey and the Bandit is, as the infectious Jerry Reed song proclaimed, "loaded up and truckin.'

2. Mad Max (1979)

Mad Max gives new meaning to the term "playing chicken." After super-studly, leather-clad cop 'Mad' Max Rockatansky (played by Mel Gibson in a star-making performance) explosively wins this game with an escaped criminal named The Nightrider, thug-in-arms biker-gang leader The Toecutter (oh, how I love these names) seeks vengeance, killing not only Max's partner but Max's family as well. So now Max is, as the title states, mad. Very, very mad. As directed by George Miller, this dystopian vision of violent recklessness and ultimate revenge is wonderfully paced, beautifully textured and even quite emotional at times. It also, in terms of ingenious car chase, crash, smash and explode sequences, is incredibly, punk-rock badass. And it features one of cinema's coolest cars: The Interceptor, a 1973 Ford Falcon XB GT, the auto-erotic fixation of the petrol set. Where can I get one?

1. Two-Lane Blacktop (1971)

If Jean Paul Sartre had directed a drive-in movie, he might have crafted Monte Hellman's existential, car noir Two-Lane Blacktop. The stoic central characters are stripped down to their basic handles -- James Taylor is known only as the Driver, Dennis Wilson the Mechanic, Laurie Bird the Girl and the late great Warren Oates, in one of his most unforgettable roles, is GTO. All players drive and drive and drive, seemingly to challenge other cars and race cross country, but is that really what they're seeking? The characters don't even know themselves. But they do love their cars. Taylor and Wilson drive a seriously souped-up '55 Chevy that's all muscle and speed, no frills, while Oates rolls a yellow 1970 Pontiac GTO -- something Taylor scorns as right off the lot. What makes this film unique is its absolute auto-centric vision (the continual purr and hum of the engine makes even the viewer feel at one with the car) mingled with art-house beauty. And it's one of the few movies in which the Driver can state with extra, ambiguous meaning, "You can never go fast enough." A masterpiece.

And here's some Johnny Cash singing an ode to stealing/assembling his "Psychobilly Cadillac"...

Comments

[COOP]

Sweet '71 Torino! Factory-equipped 351 Cleveland version?

I'm pretty sure I've shot photos of my Model A at that same location.

[Adam R]

Awesome, awesome news! I'll definitely have to pick up that issue (especially with Dita in it). That exterior pic of your car could be the artwork on the reverse of your solo LP, with the track listings on the lower left.

[Sean O'Hara]

That picture makes it look like you're in a codependent relationship with a mentally unstable man with whom you're about to embark on a tristate killing spree.

I mean that in a good way.

[Tom Alexander]

Incredible list -- is there anything more cinematic than driving a car? I don't think so. The windshield is the screen, the movement is outside and the conflict and drama is inside. Mad Max: more of a "car" movie than The Road Warrior, but sorry Road Warrior is the better film.

And you are missing what is perhaps my favourite automobile film: Repo Man. Cars, punks, Estevez -- and Harry Dean Stanton. HARRY DEAN STANTON!

[Kim]

It does indeed have the 351 Cleveland.

Can I drive your car?

[Hasan]

Hi Kim,

Stumbled across your site the other day searching for images of what's probably my favorite movie, Touch of Evil. Now you pick my favorite car movie as your No. 1 (though I do have a real soft spot for Death Race 2000). Cool, bookmarked your site and look forward to your reviews. The pic of you and your car is absolutely badass.

My honorable mention goes to the amazing live-action driving sequences in the movie Ronin.

[COOP]

Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time a beautiful woman asked to drive my car - i'd have at least .15¢.

[SW]

Congratulations! Nice work for a Cargoyl! Here's to bucking the trend.

[Lee J]

Uh...are you the coolest chick on the planet? Where the hell did you come from? Cars? Noir? And long blonde hair like some 1970's Veronica Lake?

My head is spinning.

[COOP]

So does the Torino have the factory 4-speed, too?

[COOP]

Here's a post about a crazy awesome '70 Mercury Marauder that lives down the street from me.

http://positiveapeindex.blogspot.com/2007/08/rare-musclecar-sighted-1970-mercury_06.html

[Felix Vasquez Jr.]

Pardon the crude remark, but my god, you get my motor running. That's a pun, son!

[johnny hancen]

smokey and the bandit impacted my life for years .my cousin debby had burt reynolds posters and little faus and big halsey poster all over her room.i wanted to get with my cousin but i was 9 years old and she was 21.plus she is my cousin.but anyhow throughout junior high i tried to elemulate the bandit.cause i thought i could get chicks.it kinda worked.sometimes thank god for tj swan and boones farm.- love always stay in touch, johnny

[Ryan Kelly]

Regarding Duel:
Spielberg said the truck driver wanted to kill a car in every state, hence all those license plates from the different states on the front. I thought that was a neat detail and adds to the overall tension of it all!

[SolShine7]

Sweet, your photos look nice. And Mad Max was a good pick.

[chris]

I'll take a V8 Interceptor, "a quick fella might have a weapon under there"..

[Steve]

You rock. You're hot. You're smart. What the hell?

Where have you been all my life?

Your pics are so hot I can barely stand it!

Again, where have you been all my life?

[Steve Paradis]

Wilson, Taylor, and the sad, sad-eyed Bird are little more animated than the headers on the Chevy; but the scene with Oates and Harry Dean Stanton as the hitchhiker--words fail me. Maybe the most incredible scene ever filmed in a front seat. Who else had the guts to put these two in a movie--twice--but Hellman?

[David Essex]

Kim,

Great post, great Top 10.

Back in the day, I personally saw Two-Lane Blacktop, Bullitt and Vanishing Point as God intended (many times, often smuggled in trunkwise), at the Peninsula Twin Drive In, among the rides of the redneck motorheads of beautiful Newport News. It's been a long strange trip since then, so thanks for the Proustian flashback to those days, and films.

Worth mentioning: another great car-centric movie, in a wholly different vein, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

[sweeneyrules]

Great list! I might kinda add a few
- American Graffiti (Lucas 1973)
- Taxi Driver (Scorsese 1976)
- Modern Times (Chaplin 1936)
- The Car (Silverstein 1977)
- Badlands (Mallack 1974)

* Best car washing scene - Cool Hand Luke (Rosenbeg 1967)

* Best scene in a trunk - Out of Sight (Soderbergh 1998)

* Best scene in a parking lot - Jackie Brown (Tarantino 1997)

* Best Motorhome flick - Lost In America (Brooks 1985)

* Best truck - Sorcerer (Friedkin 1977)

I don't like cars much, prefer bikes
- The Bicycle Thief (De Sica 1948)
- The Muppet Movie (Frawley 1979)
- Running On Empty (Lumet 1988)
- Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (Burton 1985)
- Breaking Away (Yates 1979)

Hey, love your site, gave you a plug
http://rocketvideo.blogspot.com/2008/04/stuff-sexy-film-geeks-1968-lazy-actors.html

[Russ]

Kim,
Cool Torino.
Where were chicks like you when I used to drive around in my '73 Firebird(350 V-8). Was chocolate brown with tan vinyl on hard top. Looked fairly tame, but it could just smoke the rubber clean off. You could get the horses under the hood without having to have the TransAm. Without that car, I probably would be dust in the wind. Horrible crash(guy ran a light and broadsided me while going down a highway),sending me head-on into a guard rail, rolling end-over-end down a 30 foot ravine. Car was completely destroyed. My girlfriend and I were given a second chance. I loved that car, cruising without a care in the world. You could actually remove the back seats and stash about a 12 pack(6 under each) inside their metal under frames.

Really enjoy your website and thank god for chicks with muscles and brains.

[Behave]

Fast Blond, '71 Torino, reclining seats? Oh behave!

[used jones]

Im surprised that Ronin isnt on there. Yeah it aint muscle cars but they are probably the best chase scenes since bullitt. magnum force also has its moment there at the end.
personally I prefer chases with the european vehicles but I think bullitt is the greatest chase in the history of films just cause McQueen did the driving himself.

[GFS3]

Wow. You get a lot of trolls who have never seen a blond woman and a car before. Too bad.

Anyway, great post (especially with the addition of Smokey and the Bandit).

How about:

- Cars (for the kids! Don't forget the children!)
- Grindhouse: Death Proof
- Christine (based on the Stephen King novel)
- American Graffiti
- White Lightning
- The French Connection
- The Cannonball Run

[Chad]

I always thought the folks at Rockstar should turn Vanishing Point into a video game.