At the Movies--Total Self Absorption

"I don't understand it."
--Barbara Stanwyck

I don't like it when people snap pictures of me--especially when I am not aware of the fact. But modern technology has allowed these sneak attacks to happen. Though this post is incredibly self absorbed and I am indeed showing the paraphilia pictures, I was not happy about this.

Nevertheless, I thought I would share because 1. I'm too tired to write anything at the moment and 2. In these creepy pictures, I'm just about to watch a movie. I guess this is how I look at such a moment. In pain—but I love movies. So what the fuck?

Well I'm sitting next to some picture perv who finds it fun to capture me in irritated repose on his dumb-ass palm-pilot . Oh sure! Loads of fun! And then, sent to me as supposedly normal. No. And no. And no.

OK--YES--according to Freud, Peeping Tom and the whole cinematic voyeurism of watching a movie. Still, my clear discomfort reveals that I am aware something is happening that I will not be thrilled about later. Maybe the sharp voice of some over-analytical film NERD is piercing my brain with his self-satisfied discussion of what's-wrong-with-Godard (all the rage these days). Or maybe, I was thinking about John Sayles' newest film (Don't worry I'm not voting for Bush...don't start screaming at me please...though, I'm not telling you who I'm voting for). Maybe I was thinking about Sayles newest crap coupled with the geek behind me yammering on about it.

But then...I become slightly--slightly relaxed. As I recall my thoughts HAD drifted to all those cute kids rubbing each other out in Kinji Fukasaku's masterpiece Battle Royale which makes me content. Not the killing (well, some of the glorious, sad, beautiful killing), but the movie and Beat Kitano. I also have had Robert Altman's The Long Goodbye in continuous brain loop and not just because I have some bizarre crush on Elliot Gould--Elliot Gould? As Marlowe--yes. No, it's that scene where the security guard does a perfect Barbara Stanwyck impression that I can't get out of my noggin: "I don't understand it. I just don't understand it Walter. I’ll never understand it. I just don't understand why I don't understand it."

I've also been thinking about my little Mary-Kate Olsen quite a lot, THE fashion icon of the year. So certainly during a half-hour wait for a film to start, my mind's gonna drift there. I love both those tiny Keane paintings come to life (read my review for New York Minute). I like MK skinny too--sorry. And those big ol’ cocaine sunglasses she wears. But further I drifted...pondering one of my favorite William Friedkin films, Cruising and the whole handkerchief system. How does that relate to MK? I don't know. Poppers perhaps? I don't understand it. I just don't understand it. I don't understand why I don't understand it.

Comments

[KP]

Hm, a friend and I were just talking about this last night. She thinks she looks better in pictures when she's not posing for them. My theory is that we don't really know what our most attractive bits are, so the ones we think are attractive are the ones we accentuate when we know we're having a picture taken, and they come out badly. Not knowing a picture is being taken, our natural attractive bits stand out.

Also, we're all sick voyeurs and everybody looks better when they know they're not being watched.

Battle Royale IS soothing to the memory. Must be the J.S. Bach suite when Mitsuko gets eliminated.

[Audrey VanHalen]

Why do I keep tasting almonds?

You have either just eaten almonds or still have trace amounts of undigested almond on or about your gums, causing mysterious flavor. If you haven't eaten almonds recently, perhaps the part of your brain that remembers flavor is more highly- developed than that of the average person, and you are experiencing an acute almond "flashback." The most likely cause, however, is that a close friend, family member or caregiver is trying to poison you. Cyanide is an extremely poisonous and easily procured white crystalline compound that has the odor and flavor of bitter almonds. Vomiting, and blindness are just some of the short-term effects of cyanide ingestion. The best way to ensure no further ingestion of cyanide is to poison the person you suspect of contaminating your food and/or beverages. This person will, no doubt, be highly-suspicious of anything tasting of almonds so be sure to lace their food or drink with either arsenic or antimony: two extremely toxic poisons that are also completely flavorless and odorless, making detection quite improbable if administered cleverly.

[Kevin]

Waiting for a movie to start is always agonizing.
There's the people who've raided the concession stand, plopping down next to you, then starting a loud chorus of crunching and slurping.
Then there's the really clueless people. The kind of people who show up to "Rush Hour" and walk out saying "This Jackie Chan guy's cool. I wonder if he's done any other movies?"
Next time I go to a movie, maybe I'll just close my eyes and think of Soledad Miranda. Ahhh, paradise....
I didn't know critics are discussing what's wrong with Godard these days. Personally, I'm still trying to understand what's right with Fellini.

[Chase]

Kim, Who was your favorite film critic to work with?

[Chase]

Kim, Who was your favorite film critic to work with?